LEAVING A LEGACY

Maybe it's because a good college friend died recently in a tragic accident. Perhaps it's because the year is winding down and we're all naturally focusing on closing one chapter and starting another. But I thought it was interesting that the topic of legacies came up in a handful conversations and meetings I had last week.
The discussions ranged from "What's it all about anyway? I thought by this age I would've figured it out already" to "Why am I working so hard with no end in sight?" to "Does anybody other than me really care if this succeeds?" to the stated desire that the world be left better because of a person's presence. Personally, I find the concept of leaving a legacy fascinating, especially since I don't have any offspring, which most people believe is the natural way to leave a lasting mark on the world.

I once read a proverb that said if you lead a meaningful life, you never really die. Instead, you break into 1,000 pieces, each of which stays alive within the people whose lives you've touched along the way. I like that concept and think about whom those 1,000 people would be in my life. My family and close friends would certainly make up a large piece of it, but I hope it would also include my mentors and mentees, team colleagues, my board members and even strangers who were touched by my articles or speeches, shared a "trotro"/ bus ride conversation with me or somehow crossed paths with me along the way.

I'd much rather be remembered by a few dear people on rainy days as the friend you could talk with for hours in a queue at the bus terminal, in a coffee shop, on the phone or on warm days when taking a walk together than have my name on a building or plaque that thousands of people pass and never notice or wonder who I was and why my name was there. Making a lasting impression on the people who mean the most to me is what I really care about, and I want to be remembered for the right reasons: for being kind, warm, sincere, generous, unique, special, funny and fun. Being remembered as an entrepreneur or leader matters less to me than being remembered as someone who was a good listener, gave great advice, showed good judgment, and really cared about what I did and who I did it with every day.

I don't know who said "Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life, “but I think that sentiment is true. I want to be remembered as a multiplier, someone who raised the level of play of everyone around them, who always created positive energy in the room and sparked new ideas. A good rule of thumb to help guide you in life when you're trying to decide which path to pursue is to take a longer view of your options. So do you attend the wedding of a close friend or agree to speak at a prominent industry conference the same day in a different part of the country? In 10, 20 or 50 years, who will remember or care about the decision you make? Going through that exercise can help clarify priorities quickly.

As my dear friend in Malmo, Sweden once said, you can leave a legacy or lead one --it's your choice whether you're passive or proactive here. Thinking about this topic in my late 20's, I now realize the choices I make every day with my time and my calendar directly impact how I'll be remembered. Who I spend my time with and how we pass that time together really matters. I will never get those moments back again, so I want to make sure I spend them each wisely.

I hope it will be many decades before we find out my legacy. To be honest, I still have a lot to accomplish. I think my biggest opportunities to make a difference and have an impact are still ahead of me. I want to change the world in some important way and know that it's in fact better because I was here.
The old saying that it's amazing how much you can accomplish if you don't care who gets the credit may apply to leaving a legacy as well. Your good work and good deeds live forever in the hearts and minds of those you touch along the way. So as the third quarter of 2010 comes to an end, remember those people who've left lasting impressions on your life, and share the lessons they taught you with others in the months left and the years ahead.

God Bless.

5 TIPS FOR BETTER INTERPERSONAL BUSSINESS COMMUNICATION SKILLS

We've all been there, trying to give a presentation not well received, and nothing you do seems to turn the tide in your favor. Maybe you're too shy, or nervous, or closed off when you are trying to communicate, but whatever the cause, you need to rectify it fast or risk losing respect, your job, or your employer's confidence. Here are a few ways to effectively improve your interpersonal communications skills.

BODY LANGUAGE
Strive to be open and animated when trying to communicate with others, especially if what you are attempting to convey is a dry or difficult to understand subject. Nothing shuts other people’s minds off faster than a monotonous and lifeless recitation of facts. Try to stimulate the group's senses of sight as well as sound by walking around, moving your hands and arms, and being as open as possible. Also, try to maintain eye contact with your audience as much as possible to keep them engaged.

CONFIDENCE
Know your material, and make sure that your audience is certain that you know it through your body language and demeanor during your conversation or presentation. Practicing helps get you focused, organize what you need to impart, and if there are any holes in your presentation material. Being as certain and prepared beforehand will help you maximize your confidence level.

CAREFUL OBSERVATION
Be observant and aware of how your audience is picking up on what you are presenting. If they seem listless or bored, try to be more animated. If they look confused or overwhelmed, try to slow it down and focus on maximizing your audience’s ability to assimilate the material you are trying to communicate.

WHAT YOU SAY, AND HOW YOU SAY IT
Along with preparation, which is knowing what you are talking about, give some thought beforehand to how you plan to talk, the most appropriate inflection to use in your voice, whether you need to project your voice or whether a subtler tone would be better.

BRING IN BACKUP WHEN NECESSARY
Don't be afraid to utilize outside expertise if it will help you impart the information you wish to communicate. Remember, the goal is not only to make yourself look good, but to properly communicate with your audience. Using someone who knows a particular subset of a given issue will make you look prepared, thoughtful, and thorough.

Build your interpersonal communication skills today and relish from rich relationships tomorrow.