HOW TO FINISH UP "2010" STRONG

The final weeks are upon us for 2010, and many people are left wondering how much of a shift for improvement they made over 2009. Here are just a few questions you can ask yourself in order to gauge your response…

* Was 2010 the year you broke through major barriers that previously held you back?
* Was this the year you focused on major self-improvement?
* Did your business do better this year (performance, revenue, growth, etc) over last year?

For some people, 2010 has been a struggle and trying time. For others, this has been the year of their life! So how about you?

With the last several weeks upon us, how are you going to finish out 2010? Most distance runners or relay runners will tell you it’s not how you start, but how you finish. You can have an average or weak start, but if you’re persistent and consistent and keep your total focus on the finish line – you will finish strong!

The same is in business.

If your goal is to become a better “you”, or to make significant improvements to your business over last year, the real truth will be told in how you finish. It takes a person of real perseverance, diligence and tenacity to see things through to completion – especially when coming from a rough start!

Anyone can start off strong, or begin with good intentions in mind. But how you finish is a real testament.

So if you have a strong desire to finish 2010 in memorable fashion, here are some helpful suggestions that have worked for me. These 7 steps will work wonders for you whether your desire is for personal or professional results.

1. Finish Strong Personally or Professionally
2. Decide what you’re willing to give up in order to get it
3. Determine at least 3 actionable steps to do daily or weekly to make it happen
4. Write down that goal and those steps and make it easily viewable
5. Get assistance from someone who can direct, give insight and provide accountability
6. Work your plan
7. Enjoy the benefits of personal success and the fulfillment that comes with it

It’s going to be work, and it’s probably going to be hard. But welcome to the club! Those who want to move from where they are to where they want to be, receive the benefits and rewards that many others will never fully see or enjoy. Finishing strong is about understanding the personal power and unique abilities available within you (sometimes it takes someone committed to you – to help bring it out of you!). You are able to accomplish and achieve to the level that you believe that you can, for better or worse, so use that to your advantage.

Plus, when you finish out 2010 strong you are well positioned to achieve the goals or “New Year’s Resolutions” for 2011. While others are stopping to figure out what they want, and how they’re going to do it (setting resolutions), you’re on the fast-track with momentum behind you to accomplish more and faster!

If you can ever make any kind of investment, your #1 most important return needs to be on you. So decide today to make YOU better, since that affects everything else – your family, business, career, relationships, etc. When you decide to make a strong finish to this year by accomplishing the goals you set out to do earlier in the year, you make a difference to yourself and to those around you.

Let us focus and set our eyes on the finishing line with a great zeal that would position us on a good path come 2011.

God Bless.

WHAT DO YOU STAND FOR?

Someone once said that "if you don’t stand for something, you'll DO just about anything." My hero, Jim Rohn, once said that the foundation for having a successful life is having a personal philosophy. I agree with both of those assertions. Having "rules of the road" for our lives can help us to determine our boundaries and draw "lines-in-the-sand" when and where they are appropriate. We've all known people who live with no "center" or boundaries. They may seem carefree on the surface, but as the late John Gardner said: "We are worriers and puzzlers and we want meaning in our lives. I'm not speaking idealistically; I'm stating a plainly observable fact about men and women. It's a rare person who can go through life like a homeless alley cat, living from day to day, taking its pleasures where it can and dying unnoticed." Which kind of person do you want to be?

Several years ago when I was going through a rough period in my life, I documented my own governing beliefs. I did this by examining my actions and then:

• In areas I was achieving satisfaction, I documented those successes and identified, in writing, the beliefs that informed them.

• In areas in which I was either performing badly or behaving poorly, I identified the categories and reasons. I then documented aspirations in those areas. Now …

Each week I conduct a post-mortem on my actions. I compare them to my beliefs, identify where I am going astray, and resolve to do better.

Doing this has improved my life.

Today, when I examine my beliefs weekly, I occasionally change one. I NEVER do that, however, to accommodate my failures or shortcomings. I only do it if I believe that I am constraining my own growth.

What follows is a MUCH abridged version of my governing beliefs as they stand today:

• I believe that I own my life, and that I am totally and completely responsible for my actions and accountable for my results.

• I believe that personal growth is our primary, lifelong mission.

• I believe strongly in self-management and course correction. Wisdom is NOT an automatic by-product of experience. Here's the formula: Wisdom = experience x reflection x relentless honesty x accountability (accepting consequences with no blame, no finger-pointing, no excuses, no whining, no escape-hatch) x behavioral change. Each of these elements is necessary, but alone, each is insufficient; it takes them all.

• Our natural tendency – one that we must reject – is to associate with people who affirm who we already are, rather than those who inspire us to reach higher and do better. I believe that in order to grow, we must surround ourselves with the kind of people we WANT to be, rather than those who mirror our own character defects! We must also discard naysayers, doomsayers and dream-slayers. If we want to grow, they have to go!

• I believe in acceptance (giving in to reality). I DO NOT believe in resignation (giving up on possibility).

• I believe in under-commitment and over-delivery, not the other way around, and that character is both forged and revealed by commitments we make and keep.

• I believe in relentlessly searching for THE truth, and that an absolute requirement for success is our ability and inclination to differentiate from among "OUR truth," "OTHERS' truth," and "THE truth."

• I believe in the priority of creating a meaningful life, and that each person must define "meaning" for him or her self.

• I believe in the virtues of integrity, honesty, courage and valor, accountability for my actions, perseverance and (especially) loyalty.

• I believe that without discipline, aspiration is hallucination.

• I believe that it's never too late to find happiness, and that it's worth a high price. One of life’s biggest challenges – maybe THE biggest – is figuring out which bridges to cross and which ones to burn in an effort to accomplish that, without doing too much damage to ourselves or others along the way.

• I believe this is the formula that many people employ to justify their dysfunctional behavior:

Doing the wrong thing and a good excuse or rationalization = doing the right thing.

Instead of the aforementioned, I believe that when we feel discomfort from dissonance, we must use it to change rather than rationalize our behavior! Discomfort should instigate action and growth, not provoke inertia or excuses. Personal responsibility must always trump comfort or convenience.

I have failed myself, many times, when measured against my own beliefs. Instead of making excuses, the question I regularly ask myself is this: "When I fail, do I commit to DO better and to BE better?"

I absolutely guarantee you that if you take the time to do this exercise you will be a better person tomorrow (not perfect, but better) than you are today.

It's worth it!

7 KEYS TO BEING A BRILLIANT LEADER

Many people think that leaders are born, not made and that if they aren’t officially a Manager, Director, Executive Directory, Vice President, President or CEO, that they are really a leader.

I beg to differ. Leadership is a set of specific behaviors that can be learned.

Here are seven keys I believe are critical to transforming ordinary people into extraordinary leaders.

1. Evoke the emotions of others: True leaders inspire people. They touch their hearts on issues that are important to them. They raise hope while acknowledging and accepting the human frailties we all possess. Leaders make people connect the change they are striving to cause to their own needs and desires.
2. Believe in people : It’s hard for us to see skeptics or critical, negative people as leaders because they don’t do anything proactive to make us feel good about ourselves. On the other hand, leaders see the rough diamonds buried in our hearts and bring them to light so that WE can see them too.
3. Have a compelling vision and be passionate in expressing it : Great leaders see a future that is dramatically different than the present we live in and they don’t keep it a secret. They articulate that future and tell us WHY it’s important that we move toward it. They know they are on the right track even when the rest of the world is still asleep to or in denial about the problem.
4. Never give up but stay flexible : Leaders with big visions are often seen as crack pots or zealots before the masses catch on to the importance of their platform. Expect to encounter some resistance at the beginning, but don’t give up on what you believe in. Do however, stay present to new developments and trends and what’s on the minds of the people in your burgeoning ‘tribe’. Find common ground with them an incorporate what you can into your vision, but don’t dilute it too much by trying to please everyone. You won’t.
5. Be an exemplary model : The increased visibility that your leadership will generate will put you in the spotlight. Keep your hands clean. Don’t be tempted by your growing power and influence. Also, don’t avoid leadership if you have a shady past. If you have truly repented, take ownership for your humanity and mistakes. Share what you’ve learned from your errant ways and promise to stay on the straight and narrow. And then stay there.
6. Demonstrate integrity : Keep your word. Be consistent in your actions. Do what you say you’re going to do. Tell the truth. Make decisions your mother, spouse, children, grandmother would be proud of. Live as though your life will be played out in the media because it might actually end up there.
7. Ask for input and help : Don’t try to get to ‘the promised land’ alone. You can’t. And even if you do, it won’t be very gratifying. As you enroll others in your vision, identify key people in your cause and solicit their opinions and help. The more people you have actively engaged and on the bandwagon with you leading others as well, the easier your road trip will be.

Do these things consistently and you’ll find yourself living a fulfilled life, making a difference and leaving the world in a better place than you found it. That is your purpose so go live it.

5 THINGS I BELIEVE ABOUT LEADERSHIP

There are a myriad of characteristics attributed to great leaders in the literature on leadership. I’ve chosen five that are critical for everyone seeking to lead. Not fully appreciating or understanding the ramifications of not following these ideas can lead to misery for a leader. How do you rate and what is your current misery index?

1. Everyone is a leader. If one examines their life’s routines, it becomes easy to segment when leadership was part of the activity. Raising children? You’re a leader. Do you sometimes offer a helping hand to others in your workplace? You’re performing an important role of a leader. Ever undertake or oversee a work assignment in a professional or social organization? You guessed it, you were leading. The important concept is to see yourself as a leader whenever you are engaged in an activity that requires use of any leadership skill. Raise your antenna to pick up on those leadership opportunities. Constantly seek to increase your skill level and soon you may find yourself permanently performing that role.
2. People’s performance is a measure of our tolerance level. If you lead, think about the worst performer you have. Got that name and face in your mind? Well, let me break the news gently, that individual’s performance is what you are willing to tolerate. Some examples: An employee regularly comes in late. A worker doesn’t turn in their assignment within the agreed upon deadline. One worker has an excessive absentee record. Another worker consistently engages in personal confrontation with co-workers. If any of these examples happen and we take no corrective action, it’s what we are willing to tolerate. And, the bad news is if we accept this level of performance, the odds favor other workers cloning the behavior and soon we’ve got a department that is in total chaos.
3. Leadership is where the rubber meets the road. Every good or bad event within the workplace, the political arena or in a global context is in some way caused by good or bad leadership practices. Thus, great organizations will typically be lead by great leaders while poor performing organizations tend to be lead by weak leaders. What about your workplace? Is there a leadership deficit? Or, are the waters of leadership flowing throughout the organization creating a positive impact? If you approach your work responsibilities from the viewpoint of an effective leader, your growth opportunities are endless simply because it takes effective leadership to get the job done right. Yes, there are times when strong workers can cover for a weak leader but that is rare and not typical of workplace situations. Become a leader and watch your life change for the better.
4. Leaders understand that learning is a core requirement for creating a successful enterprise. While many will say knowledge is power, I say knowledge is only potential power. It’s the implementation of that knowledge that creates the kinetic power produced by action. Great leaders constantly challenge those under their charge to grow their knowledge base and then apply that learning to workplace activities. And, the greater the application of new knowledge, the greater the potential for organizational prosperity. If you lead, place that challenge in front of everyone under your supervision. Never let complacency overtake the work environment. Doing so allows the introduction of mediocrity, a surefire step down the ladder of failure.
5. Integrity is the cornerstone for building a solid foundation of leadership skills. If one lacks integrity, they lack the “guts” to do the things that must be done in order to grow their career, the organization, and those under their charge. We must be principled, dependable, and trustworthy; possess a sound moral character, and be consistent with our decisions. Never compromise the right thing for the wrong reason. Give your word and stand by it. Living with integrity requires a courageous stance when others might take the easy road. What are your travel plans?

Closing Thoughts

There is a tremendous void of great leaders in every segment of our society today. It saddens me to write that statement but my observations of the happenings in the world only reinforce that thought. My encouragement to you is to study the rudiments of leading others so you can be the best at carrying out that important task and become the shining example others strive to emulate. Then, hold yourself and others that can influence your life to the highest of leadership standards. There should be no tolerance for unethical behavior or for self-serving leaders. Leadership is truly about a willingness to serve others. I hope you are a willing servant!

EXPECTING EXCELLENCE - A KEY TO EFFECTIVE LEADERSHIP

The idea of expecting excellence isn't new, nor is the premise that every leader should expect excellence from his or her team. But just like everything a leader says and does, it's not so much a matter of "what" he or she does as much as it is about "how" they do what they do.

There's a significant difference between establishing an environment where excellence is expected and one where excellence is demanded. In the first case, not only does the culture of the organization establish the expectations for excellence, but the actions of your entire team will essentially "put pressure" on everyone to perform up to the standards of excellence expected.

In the second case, where excellence is demanded, "pressure" from you is the only dynamic at play. And you know how most people react to direct pressure - they push back. And push-back usually comes in the form of either passive-aggressive behavior or by working just hard enough to keep from being fired.

So let's discuss how to go about establishing an environment where excellence is expected. There are two components to this equation. The first is defining what excellence means to you and your organization, and the second is the design of that environment.

How we define excellence is governed by the standards and values we embrace. Standards determine the level of quality we desire. They govern quality of service and quality of product. There are many levels of quality, and only you and your team can determine which level you want to be known for. Excellent quality does not necessarily mean the very best that can be produced. Let me offer a couple of real-world, practical examples. The first comes from the restaurant business and the other from the automotive industry.

If you go to a fast food restaurant, excellent service means delivering the customer's food within a very short time - typically 2-4 minutes. Much longer than that, and most customers will feel that the service is less than excellent. In contrast, if you dined in an expensive, gourmet restaurant and your food came out within 2-4 minutes, you'd no doubt feel rushed and consider the service to be poor.

The other example comes from the automobile industry. (I'm not promoting or judging any make of car here just offering an example that most everyone can relate to.) If every automobile were made to the very highest of standards, then there would be only Rolls Royce, Audi and Mercedes Benz. There would be no room for Chevrolet, Ford or Kia.

The appropriate level of quality that determines the standards by which you and your organization are governed is determined by the expectations of your market. This doesn't preclude setting a standard which exceeds the expectations of that market. It just acts as a benchmark by which your performance is measured.

The values which create an environment of excellence govern how we do what we do and are - for the most part - concerned with how we relate to others. Values that may immediately come to mind are integrity, honesty, respect, and fairness. However, there are many other possible values that you and your team may want to include on your list in order to elicit excellence. Here are some additional values to help you get started: Authenticity, Family, Kindness, Commitment, Loyalty, Compassion, Happiness, Empathy, Health, and Humor.

Once you have defined what excellence means to you and your organization by clearly setting an expected level of standards for performance along with the values which determine how you, your team and your organization carry out the work you do, you will be in a position to design an environment which elicits excellence.

Designing an environment which elicits excellence is about establishing an organizational "culture". A well-established culture will embody and reflect the standards and values you and your organization have agreed upon.

So… what constitutes "culture" and how do you establish it? Culture is established by how well you and your team live by and communicate the values and standards you've identified. It's not so much "whether" you and your team agree to these things, as it is about how consistently and to what degree these values and standards are adhered to. Doing this well will create the proper initial expectations with new team members, will install a sense of pride throughout the organizations, and will fill your organization with integrity - causing the majority of your team to act, think, and speak in a certain way.

Consistency in the effort is all important. The consequences are unfortunate if you and your team profess to embrace and embody a certain culture, but live by it in an inconsistent manner, tolerate behaviors by others which are at odds with the culture, or worse, act in a manner at odds with the so-called "culture". There is nothing more demoralizing than someone hearing about and believing in a certain culture, only to see a leader speak and act in an inconsistent manner. It absolutely undermines the integrity of the leader and the organization as a whole.

The bottom line is that demanding excellence of your team will only produce modest and inconsistent results. Alternatively, putting in the effort up front to design, implement, and live by a culture of excellence will produce long-term, self-sustaining results.

LEAVING A LEGACY

Maybe it's because a good college friend died recently in a tragic accident. Perhaps it's because the year is winding down and we're all naturally focusing on closing one chapter and starting another. But I thought it was interesting that the topic of legacies came up in a handful conversations and meetings I had last week.
The discussions ranged from "What's it all about anyway? I thought by this age I would've figured it out already" to "Why am I working so hard with no end in sight?" to "Does anybody other than me really care if this succeeds?" to the stated desire that the world be left better because of a person's presence. Personally, I find the concept of leaving a legacy fascinating, especially since I don't have any offspring, which most people believe is the natural way to leave a lasting mark on the world.

I once read a proverb that said if you lead a meaningful life, you never really die. Instead, you break into 1,000 pieces, each of which stays alive within the people whose lives you've touched along the way. I like that concept and think about whom those 1,000 people would be in my life. My family and close friends would certainly make up a large piece of it, but I hope it would also include my mentors and mentees, team colleagues, my board members and even strangers who were touched by my articles or speeches, shared a "trotro"/ bus ride conversation with me or somehow crossed paths with me along the way.

I'd much rather be remembered by a few dear people on rainy days as the friend you could talk with for hours in a queue at the bus terminal, in a coffee shop, on the phone or on warm days when taking a walk together than have my name on a building or plaque that thousands of people pass and never notice or wonder who I was and why my name was there. Making a lasting impression on the people who mean the most to me is what I really care about, and I want to be remembered for the right reasons: for being kind, warm, sincere, generous, unique, special, funny and fun. Being remembered as an entrepreneur or leader matters less to me than being remembered as someone who was a good listener, gave great advice, showed good judgment, and really cared about what I did and who I did it with every day.

I don't know who said "Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life, “but I think that sentiment is true. I want to be remembered as a multiplier, someone who raised the level of play of everyone around them, who always created positive energy in the room and sparked new ideas. A good rule of thumb to help guide you in life when you're trying to decide which path to pursue is to take a longer view of your options. So do you attend the wedding of a close friend or agree to speak at a prominent industry conference the same day in a different part of the country? In 10, 20 or 50 years, who will remember or care about the decision you make? Going through that exercise can help clarify priorities quickly.

As my dear friend in Malmo, Sweden once said, you can leave a legacy or lead one --it's your choice whether you're passive or proactive here. Thinking about this topic in my late 20's, I now realize the choices I make every day with my time and my calendar directly impact how I'll be remembered. Who I spend my time with and how we pass that time together really matters. I will never get those moments back again, so I want to make sure I spend them each wisely.

I hope it will be many decades before we find out my legacy. To be honest, I still have a lot to accomplish. I think my biggest opportunities to make a difference and have an impact are still ahead of me. I want to change the world in some important way and know that it's in fact better because I was here.
The old saying that it's amazing how much you can accomplish if you don't care who gets the credit may apply to leaving a legacy as well. Your good work and good deeds live forever in the hearts and minds of those you touch along the way. So as the third quarter of 2010 comes to an end, remember those people who've left lasting impressions on your life, and share the lessons they taught you with others in the months left and the years ahead.

God Bless.

5 TIPS FOR BETTER INTERPERSONAL BUSSINESS COMMUNICATION SKILLS

We've all been there, trying to give a presentation not well received, and nothing you do seems to turn the tide in your favor. Maybe you're too shy, or nervous, or closed off when you are trying to communicate, but whatever the cause, you need to rectify it fast or risk losing respect, your job, or your employer's confidence. Here are a few ways to effectively improve your interpersonal communications skills.

BODY LANGUAGE
Strive to be open and animated when trying to communicate with others, especially if what you are attempting to convey is a dry or difficult to understand subject. Nothing shuts other people’s minds off faster than a monotonous and lifeless recitation of facts. Try to stimulate the group's senses of sight as well as sound by walking around, moving your hands and arms, and being as open as possible. Also, try to maintain eye contact with your audience as much as possible to keep them engaged.

CONFIDENCE
Know your material, and make sure that your audience is certain that you know it through your body language and demeanor during your conversation or presentation. Practicing helps get you focused, organize what you need to impart, and if there are any holes in your presentation material. Being as certain and prepared beforehand will help you maximize your confidence level.

CAREFUL OBSERVATION
Be observant and aware of how your audience is picking up on what you are presenting. If they seem listless or bored, try to be more animated. If they look confused or overwhelmed, try to slow it down and focus on maximizing your audience’s ability to assimilate the material you are trying to communicate.

WHAT YOU SAY, AND HOW YOU SAY IT
Along with preparation, which is knowing what you are talking about, give some thought beforehand to how you plan to talk, the most appropriate inflection to use in your voice, whether you need to project your voice or whether a subtler tone would be better.

BRING IN BACKUP WHEN NECESSARY
Don't be afraid to utilize outside expertise if it will help you impart the information you wish to communicate. Remember, the goal is not only to make yourself look good, but to properly communicate with your audience. Using someone who knows a particular subset of a given issue will make you look prepared, thoughtful, and thorough.

Build your interpersonal communication skills today and relish from rich relationships tomorrow.

HAVING SEX IN WATER!! POINTS TO CONSIDER

Making love within the water is without a doubt a great idea that a person should certainly try out at least once. You may either have sex in your bathing room or in your swimming pool. One may also have sexual intercourse in open waters like ponds and streams that are normally not frequented by people, however one should not do it because, making love in public places is an offense. In this write-up we'll look at four different places wherein one can have sex in water:

In the swimming pool: Making love inside your private pool is an excellent idea. However, I highly recommend you do not think of having sexual intercourse under water because it not only very difficult but also life-threatening. Take your girl to the pool edge where it is shallow and safe and you can also grip the edges whilst thrusting her. If your pool has stairs then you may sit on them while your girlfriend rides you in a cowgirl position.

Bath tub sex: How much you have fun with making love in the bathtub depends on how big it is. The spacious the better, but it really can not beat the level of sexual excitement that one gets from making love inside a swimming pool. In spite of this, the small area of the bath tub doesn't necessarily mean that you cannot have intercourse at all. You can definitely give your woman an amazing orgasm by fingering her, furthermore, you can even ask your girl to ride you in cowgirl position.

However, it must be noted that it's not necessary to make love inside the bath tub. Instead, you can enjoy some intense foreplay activities after which you can finish it off in the bedroom. The reason being that it is sometimes complicated to turn on a woman, and so foreplay within a bathtub will make it simple for you to turn her on.

Intercourse underneath shower: . Standing below a shower with water flowing all over your body is better than being half-immersed with water entering your private parts. I'd recommend you to get a few anti-slip stickers to prevent falling and potentially leading to any injury. With soap lathering all over the body the enjoyment aspect doubles up and it results in being even more exciting than a usual sexual intercourse.

Install a bar or handle to firmly grip while having standing-up intercourse and also you can even lie down on floor in case your bath room is large enough.

Intercourse in open waters: If you're an adventurous type of person then you can try making love inside a river, stream or beach however I reiterate that it isn't wise. It's a serious offense for you to indulge in sexual activities in open spots, so be careful that the place you choose must be far away from your city and with no one around to report you to police. Furthermore, the quality of water in open water bodies like lakes and river streams is bad and not good for your private parts. If you would like make love on the seashore then I would like to mention that the vaginal opening of your woman becomes rough because of the salt that gets lodged there. However, some people still go out to open waters and have sex since it gives them a sense of excitement that doubles the sexual pleasure.

WOMEN'S SECRET SEXUAL DESIRES

Ah, women and sex, for a man, nothing can be more interesting than a discussion that includes these two fascinating words. However, if a guy wants to get more out of these two words other than just mere discussion, then he needs to be in depth on not just what women want in bed, but their secret sexual desires as well. But first, he needs to understand the basics of women sexuality.

The first thing that a man needs to know is the sexual energy flow of women. Unlike most men, where the genitals are the base and pole of their sexual energy, for women, however, their sexual positive pole is in their heart and breast.

This means that a woman usually needs to feel desired and love before she opens herself up for sex. Once the woman’s heart is opened, the sexual energy then flows down to her sex organ and begins to desire intercourse. Keep in mind that the sexual energy of a female is more like water on the boil. It can take a little time to let the temperature rise. Whereas for a man, it is quick to ignite like a fire, and is ready for intercourse in a matter of minutes.Inability to understand both energies can lead to miscommunications and problems.

The second thing that a man needs to know about the basic sexuality of a woman is the motive behind love-making.

When it comes to making love, men usually continue the habit they learned from masturbating, where the goal is just to ejaculate. For women, however, making love is all about connection. If a man’s goal is just to reach his own orgasm, rest assured he is going to have trouble in the sex department. If a man knows what’s best for his sex life, then he should take time connecting through foreplay and other sexual activities with his woman.

Now, I’m going to let you in on some of the secret sexual desires of women.

- Go all over her body. This is one of the secret desires that most women want their lover to do. Women love it when their man kisses them all over their body. “I want him to kiss and lick down from my toes all the way to my legs, buttocks and back. I want him to excite sensations that come from somewhere other than my vagina, and I’m sure majority of women also yearn for this,” said one woman and I happened to agree with her.

- Longer, louder oral sex. And I mean both ways. It’s no secret that women want longer oral sex, but they love giving it, too especially if the man is vocal enough to tell her that she’s doing a great, uh, job.

- Variety. Women get bored with the same old routine in bed. I’m sure she’s going to love it when her man will treat her rough and raunchy after a night of delicate sex.

- Let her lead. Allow the woman to get in touch with her dominant side by allowing yourself to be her sex slave tonight. Believe me, a man will be fulfilling every woman's most desired sexual fantasy with this one.

- Blindfolds. Bring the woman’s excitement level to great heights tonight by focusing on sensation alone. Rest assured that having a blindfold on will always be one of every woman’s secret desires- for a woman, the feeling of total surrender is always sexy and rousing.

Nobody was born timid, so they say. That’s why when it comes to sexual desires, encourage your woman to open- up, make her lose her inhibition and let her guard down. She will thank you for it.

Succeed With R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

During difficult economic times, there is a tendency to have doubts and concerns about one’s future. Past disappointments and perceived failures can bring fears, doubts, and frustrations roaring to the surface to confuse and complicate our present situation.

The seeds of joy, success, love, and abundance are found in R.E.S.P.E.C.T., and we must not let our past interfere with our present and future goals.

Resilience is our ability to draw upon the strength and wisdom we have gained from our past experiences, and use these to move through and beyond our present circumstances. Resilience is our ability to learn from the challenges and difficulties in our lives and then build on what we have learned. If the boat you are cruising through life on, hits some rough waters there is no reason to lose hope or confidence in yourself or your future. It is not always easy to pick ourselves up and keep moving on down the road, but there are a few things we can do:

(1) Be honest with ourselves and acknowledge what has happened and then be aware and acknowledge what part, if any, we played in what has happened. We then must do what is necessary to find completion and be at peace with ourselves and what has happened.

(2) Do not resist or fight the circumstances we find ourselves in because this resistance can very easily morph into negativity, and the negativity can be expressed as simple irritation, or more intensely as anger, depression, severe anxiety, or resentment.

(3) Resist and ignore the temptation to place blame. Spending more than five seconds blaming other people or circumstances for our situation is a waste of time and valuable energy, and only serves to cloud our vision and misdirect our focus. It also increases our anger and frustration and makes us feel like a “victim”. Once we begin to feel like a victim, it’s hard to move out of that mentality.

(4) Focus your time and energy on moving forward with the deeply felt conviction and knowledge that your current situation has only temporarily moved you off your path, and
no-thing or no one can keep you from your goal.

Enthusiasm is essential to success, and it doesn’t have to be a cheering banner waving enthusiasm. Believe in your goal and move toward your goal with a deep passion for what you are doing. Most of us have experienced a situation or heard of a circumstance where someone had an idea that may not have been particularly innovative or exciting, but the person was so excited, passionate, and committed to the idea that h/she got others excited. The enthusiasm and passion od the person was so contagious that others joined in and helped the idea succeed. If you have an idea or goal you believe in, do not hesitate out of fear of what others may think or say; let others see your passion, enthusiasm, and commitment, and Go For It!

Self is the most important factor in achieving your goals and desires. The roots of your success, prosperity, and love, grow very deep within you and involve who and what you think you are as opposed to who and what you really are. It is not enough to simply have a more positive attitude
or strive to become more motivated. Here are some things to seriously ponder as you strive to change how you think of yourself:

1) You are the person with whom you have the most intimate relationship, so if you do not know, accept, trust, and love yourself, you will find your path to success and love filled with unnecessary roadblocks of your own construction.

2) If you are experiencing difficulties, remember that you are not your present circumstances. Your circumstances do not define who and what you are now, or will be in the future.

3) Your past disappointments and perceived failures do not define who you are now or will be in the future.

4) Do not expect perfection from yourself or anyone else. Although we know on an intellectual level that no one is perfect, we have come to expect perfection from ourselves because this attitude and expectation formed over a lifetime of hearing parents, teachers, coaches, and others tell us what they expected of us and from us. We bought in to what we heard and came to believe we should be the best and the brightest. Be only the best you want to be, and shine as bright as you want to shine for yourself. Bring more joy, love, and good into your life and the lives of others because you want to, not because someone else wants you to.

5) Your life is happening in this moment, not in past experiences or future maybes. Dwelling in the past can trick you into believing your future will repeat the past.

6) Be loving and compassionate with yourself, and love with wisdom. This simply means to nurture, support, comfort, and love yourself in equal proportion to the way and amount of nurturing, love, support, and comfort you give to others.

7) Do Not listen to the subconscious chatter recorded in the sound studio of your past. Record a new sound track over the chatter; and record it in the sound studio of your dreams and desires.

8) Your possibilities are limitless, but if you do not believe in yourself it will be very difficult for others to believe in you.

Purpose is the next important factor. Your purpose or intention is your desired outcome, and it must be clearly defined. The clearer you are the easier it will be to follow through to a successful outcome. In order to maintain motivation, it is important to have a strong personal incentive to accomplish the goal and achieve what you desire. When deciding on the purpose or intention behind your goal, consider the following two questions: (1) Does my goal improve my life and/or the lives of others? (2) Do I have a talent or gift to share with the world and no longer want to push it to the “back burner”?

What you believe to be your purpose at one point in your life may change; so give yourself the permission and space to grow and change. What is most important is to think and act in a purposeful manner regardless of what you are doing at any given time in your life.

Extraordinary is who and what you really are. You may have a job you consider ordinary; you may see your daily activities as ordinary; and you may think you look ordinary. However, the truth is that, in reality, you are extra ordinary. You are not your job, your looks, or your daily activities. You are, in fact, a special and unique creation with talents and abilities that you are meant to share and use to enjoy your life to the fullest and help others to thrive and enjoy their lives. Don’t just “hang in there”, or just try to survive or “get by”. Focus your thoughts on the extraordinary person you truly are because you will only go as far as your beliefs allow you to go. When you know and understand your inherent worth, and feel worthy to receive all that you desire it will begin to show up in all areas of your life. As Martha Graham once said, “You are unique, and if that is not fulfilled then something has been lost”.

Commitment is difficult for a procrastinator. It is hard to commit to achieving a desired goal when you keep putting off doing the things necessary to do in order to get where you want to go. I know because I did just that for a very long time until I realized that my past mistakes and disappointments had nothing to do with my present and future goals. Fear and doubt will drain your energy, wound your spirit, rip holes in your heart, and block your creativity and motivation. Commit to your goal, follow through with your plan, be consistent with your efforts, and persevere until you reach your goal.

Trust is very simply Faith in Yourself, Your Goals, and your God.

STOP FIGHTING WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND --- FOLLOW THIS STEPS

Fighting isn't necessarily a bad thing in a relationship, but if most of your time together is spent fighting, you've got a problem that the two of you have to deal with. Together. You each have your own ideas and opinions. If fights develop every time the two of you disagree on something, though, then there's something else going on. If you keep in mind that you're in this relationship because of love, you should be able to address the problem together and strengthen that relationship. These are the steps to follow if you'd like to stop the constant fighting with your girlfriend:

Step 1: Talk calmly. Shouting at each other begins a series of confrontational choices, none of which help. Remember, the key phrase here is "talking over your differences," not "yelling over your differences." Shouting and yelling can also lead to more violent behavior, like breaking and throwing things.

Step 2: You need to sit together and figure out why it is you're fighting. Often, the details of any particular fight are unimportant, because one fight follows on another as part of a string, when the root cause hasn't been resolved. A fight is resolved when you find the underlying issues and deal with them.

Step 3: Get out and walk around for a while. When you find out about a problem, instead of going at it hammer and tongs, take a break so that you each can cool off and give the matter some serious thought. Try a few hours break before things escalate, any time you feel a fight coming on. Don't start a fight; instead, take a break and think things over. Be honest with yourself - does this fight make sense? Or is this a way you each hurt each others' feelings?

Step 4: When you talk things over, remember that you love her, and listen carefully to what she has to say. Remember that you're working together to solve a problem, not beat each other up. It may be that the things that make you different are the things that make your relationship great. Respect those differences and be patient with each other's weaknesses and shortcomings. Don't judge each other, but be honest at all times. Respecting each other, then, is a critical component of your campaign to end the fighting.

Step 5: Your fight doesn't need a winner! Don't expect that you're going to end every fight with one agreeing with the other. It's pretty easy, in fact - just acknowledge that you don't agree with each other and move on. It's nice to find areas of agreement, but finding those areas of disagreement also help build the relationship, because you learn more about each other and what makes you each unique.

Step 6: Recognize and admit your own mistakes, and forgive each other. When you admit your own mistakes, you're expecting that she's going to forgive you for them - so you have to forgive her for her mistakes as well. You can build a stronger relationship by forgiving freely. One of the keys to stopping the trend of fighting with your girlfriend, then, is to make certain to forgive each other whenever you do fight. Telling her that you're sorry won't be hard if you remember why you love her.

Step 7: If it's still not working, then it's time to seek outside help. If the time comes that you realize you can't solve the problem on your own, go ahead and look for help from a qualified third party. If the two of you working together can't come to a resolution, it may be that you need the benefit of another perspective. There are many qualified people who can help you - psychologists, counselors and clergy, to name a few. They're equipped to help with your problems.

The routine bickering and fighting with your girlfriend will pretty much end once you've followed these 7 steps. You'll still have disagreements now and then. That's normal. When the disagreements arise, it's critical that you address them together, like adults.

18 GOLDEN RULES OF AN INTERVIEW

Learn Amazing ways to win over the employer.
Learn the golden rules that will guide you to the road to success.
Remember you are being watch throughout the interview! BE READY!

1. Make a good impression, the interviewer will be watching every move you make.

2. The employer will be observing your body language

3. The first five minutes of the interview set the tone for the interview.

4. Do not slump in your seat; this is a sign of lack of confidence or not caring.

5. Try to get the questions right the first time. The employer has a deadline or a cutoff date Fill the position. This is a plus the employer will appreciate you for not wasting his time and making the interview process easier for him also.

6. The employer will make sure that you meet all the basic qualifications.

7. The employer will make sure that you meet all necessary criteria’s.

8. The employer will ask about gaps in your resume and missing dates in
employment - have the answers ready. One good answer is (example) you took time to care for a loved one.

9. The employer will ask, why are you leaving your current position?

10. The employer will ask, what have you been doing in your spare time?

11. The employer will ask, what are you looking for in the position you are applying for.

12. The employer will ask how the new job will fit into your long-term plans.

13. The employer will ask what your greatest assets are.

14. The employer will ask, what are your hobbies?

15. The employer will ask, if you can change anything about yourself what it would be?

16. The employer will ask, what are your weak points and strong points?

17. The employer will ask, tell me about yourself?

18. Describe to me how others see you.

An interview is not a casual conversation it is a set of questions and answers. Be prepared! This will make you look more professional. Organize your thoughts familiarize their company policy, procedures, and laws.

The number one mistake the job seeker make is not preparing and this will turn the whole interview process sour.

When it comes to job interviews, what you look like counts! As shallow as it sounds, your appearance reflex your personality.

Careful grooming is something everyone should pay close attention to remember looks do count and it is much better to overdress then to under-dress.
Your appearance can make or break an interviewer's decision of whether or not they should hire you.
Good employment opportunities do not fall into your hands every day he takes work and part of the job is to follow the golden rules.

The conclusion to this article is all would agree that a career requires hard work and dedication it also needs focus and preparation
The word career brings forth different thoughts for different people. When looking at work over many years
Most all would agree that a career requires hard work and dedication. You choose a career but a job picks you. A person can work anywhere but a career must be planned.
One must also be focused in preparation; often times a career is a choice career direction.

You must research your intended career, the idea of the difference between a career path and the Open job market it’s like playing darts having to do with luck you would do the work for free but really need the check.

HOW TO HANDLE YOUR JOB LOSS

Some job-seekers see job loss an avenue for new opportunities while others may take it quite negatively. This is important to note that it is quite natural to be filled with negative emotions after a job loss. A job loss affects individuals in a number of ways. Some common feelings that it may bring include loss of personal identity, loss of a network and emotional unpreparedness. To replace your negative feelings with positivity, here are some important steps to follow.

Adjusting & Accepting
It is advisable to use some psychology in case of a job loss. Many researches and studies have been conducted to cope with job loss. According to the researchers, it has come to light that people can handle a job loss circumstance easily if they are prepared in advance about what feeling they are going to experience. If you want to make yourself ready to muster up the courage and energy to move beyond this situation, you need to accept the situation.

Keeping Healthy
Circumstances like these need strength and the power to endure. You will feel quite stressed when you lose a job. To be able to cope with the situation well, you need to keep yourself in good shape. Therefore, it is always advisable to eat properly, exercise regularly and allow yourself some time to relax and make fun. You can find a number of hobbies and activities that you can keep yourself involved in.

Family Issues
You job loss also has a direct effect on your family. A period of unemployment makes your family become worried and uncertain for the future. Your family can not see you unhappy. It causes a lot of worry both for you and for your entire family. Under these circumstances, it is advisable not to keep yourself aloof from the family members. Therefore, always remember to talk to family, listen to what they have to say and build the family spirit of togetherness.

Coping with Stress
One of the most important issues during the period of unemployment is coping with stress. First and foremost, you need to list all the causes of your stress. Next, you need to prepare yourself as to how you can handle each one of those cause to relieve yourself of the stress. Prioritize things, avoid isolation and join a job seeking support group.

Keeping Yourself Spirited
During a job search or after losing a job, it is natural to feel negative. If not taken care of properly, these negative emotions can also take the form of depression. In any case, you need to keep your spirits up and think positively. Think about your achievements and past successes, visualize positive results and get involved in some volunteering activities. Most importantly, get yourself surrounded with people who talk and think positively.

A New Beginning
Think and use your job loss as an opportunity to begin your career anew. It is an opportunity that will give your career a new direction. Do not think about the past, as it is over. Just try to live in the present and use your experience to prepare a plan of action for the future. Use your creativity and be flexible. Even if it is criticism, use it as a constructive tool and do not be afraid of failure. Soon, you will see that the period of job loss is over and it has given your career a whole new direction.

HOW TO TELL IF SHE'S INTERESTED

OK, I have a quick trick question for you.That’s right, I said a quick TRICK question.
How can you tell if a woman is interested in you?
Answer quickly.
So what gives?
Why am I asking you a trick question?
Simple.
Because I’m trying to make you THINK.
I’m sure that, just like me, you’ve read a hundred dating tips and articles that say things like:

“If she tilts her head to one side and strokes her neck, that’s a sign of interest…”


“If she licks her lips in a longing fashion, that means she’s interested in you…”


“If she laughs a lot, makes positive eye contact, and touches you often, then she likes you…”

I remember when I first read all this stuff.

I thought to myself “Wow, cool! I must have been missing these hints because I didn’t know to look for them. Now I’ll know when a woman is interested in me…“.
Well, there was ONE SMALL problem…
The problem is that women display these MAJOR INTEREST signals in about 1 of 1,000 interactions with men…
And there was one BIG problem…
That problem was that none of the damn dating tips I read said a single thing about how to MAKE women give you these signals.
In other words, what I realized is that average guys like me who don’t get “approached” by women need to learn not only WHAT to look for, but, more importantly, how to actually CREATE ATTRACTION in women so they GAVE me these signals in the FIRST PLACE.

So let me share with you some dating tips on how to MAKE women feel ATTRACTION for you… and then I’ll share some ideas on what to LOOK FOR to tell if a woman is interested.

And my ideas will be a WEEEEEE BIT different than the ones you read in your flirting books.

OK, so you’re out at a bar with a few friends, and it’s time to meet some interesting women.
You look around, and none of the hot young babes in there seem to be tilting their heads to one side, looking you in the eye, and licking their lips… so you decide to DO SOMETHING.
What do most guys do in this situation?

Either:

1) Nothing, because they’re scared, or…

2) Something typical, like ask a girl to dance, or if he can buy her a drink.

If you’re guilty of doing these, raise your hand.

Then take your raised hand, and slap yourself silly. Not too hard. But silly.

Here’s a thought for you…

If you put 100 guys in a bar with one beautiful women sitting alone, and you say to all 100 of the guys “Hey guys, which one of you can walk over to that woman and do something to make that woman feel a SEXUAL ATTRACTION for you?”… I’d say that if you’re LUCKY, one of them will claim that he can do it.

In other words, for most guys, the idea of walking up to a girl they don’t know and doing something that will TRIGGER an attraction is completely outside of their universe.

This is one of the reasons why guys do things like asking girls to dance, buying them drinks, etc.

Now, something you must understand when it comes to women and ATTRACTION is that women don’t feel ATTRACTION for WUSSIES.

ATTRACTION isn’t a CHOICE.

It isn’t logical (at least, on the surface).

But once you start to “get it”, everything changes. Your entire perspective changes once you “get it”, and your results change instantly as well.

So here’s a dating tip for you to try:

MESS WITH WOMEN.

That’s right “mess with” them.

• Tease.
• Bust on.
• Be difficult.

Why?

Because it INSTANTLY communicates that:

1) You could care less what she thinks of you.

2) You’re a fun person.

3) You’re unpredictable.

4) You’re a bit of a “wild card”

5) You GET IT.

Now, you might be shaking your head right now and saying “That’s doesn’t make any sense. Why would a woman feel attracted to me if I mess with her instead of being nice?”.

That’s a good question.

But for now, take the hand that you slapped yourself with earlier, and slap yourself again.

Good.

I want you to STOP following your “be nice and kiss ass” instincts when you first meet a woman, and instead practice MESSING WITH HER.

Make fun of something.

Go to hand her something, then pull it away at the last second.

Shake your head in despair and tell her that she’s screwing up her chances with you.

Say something Cocky & Funny, then turn around and walk away before she can respond to your face.

Can ya feel me, dog?

Now the good stuff…

HOW TO TELL IF SHE’S INTERESTED

Well this is what you were looking for, so here it is…

I’m going to give you a stupid-proof formula for knowing whether or not a woman is interested in you.

Here it is:

1) You engage her.

2) She engages you back.

Yes, that’s it. Please stop the applause long enough that I can finish. You can clap later.

I know that this sounds a little “Duh-ish”, but stay with me here.

If I walk into a restaurant, and the hostess asks me how many are in my party, and I answer with “Well, there are three of us. I guess there will be FOUR if YOU join us…” and she laughs at my joke, then IT’S ON!

If I’m standing at the bar, and the woman next to me bumps into my arm, and I turn and say “Hey, watch it, OK? Keep some space here, I need at least a foot of room…” in a serious tone of voice… and she starts playing along by smiling and moving away from me then back again playfully, then IT’S ON!

If I’m talking to a woman that I met at the magazine rack, and I ask her “What’s with that huge purse of yours? You got a dog in there or something?” and she starts laughing and making excuses, then IT’S ON!

In a nutshell, what I’m trying to say is:

1) Stop looking around for signals from women that they’re “interested” in you.

2) Stop CARING whether or not a particular woman is interested in you.

3) Instead, start TRIGGERING the interest, and watching to see if women ENGAGE. If they do, then assume that IT’S ON!

As long as you use how she’s responding to what YOU do as your gauge, then you’ll have a MUCH easier time spotting the “she wants me” clues…

…Because YOU ARE THE ONE CAUSING THEM.

REACHING THE TOP MOST PEAK OF ORGASM

Reaching the top most peak of orgasm for women is like finding your way through the busy streets of China. It has lots of twist and turns and U- turns; you can get lost and end up being laughed at or gotten angry at. But if you can discover the way to females orgasm, you will be greatly rewarded.

There are so many ways to reach that elusive orgasm. It will not be as elusive if you both parties pay attention to each other. It usually takes both parties’ efforts and proper communication to have that fulfilling and orgasmic experience. For women, the number one rule is to be comfortable with yourself.

You cannot and will not enjoy yourself with another person if you don’t like yourself- your body. Learn to wear your skin with confidence and sensuality. Those flabby flaws will always be there- accept it, love it, enjoy it. Also try exploring yourself- masturbation can be another way of exploring pleasure with yourself and another is finding-out which part of your body gives you most pleasure.

Is it the soft kiss in the neck, the thigh, and the toes or on the back? It is important to realize other crevices of pleasure in your body aside from your vagina. Foreplay is very important in having a gratifying orgasm. This is where both of you creates the mood.

Soft-lit room, romantic music, sexy aroma… creating a conducive ambiance for sex and pleasure. In foreplay, being comfortable and not uptight is critical to prevent embarrassments. Having an “it’s okay” state of mind can help both of you to go with the flow of your bodies and your urges. Communicating is a fundamental course in intercourse.

Never be a shamed to tell your partner what sexually excites you. Don’t be uncomfortable to say where your erogenous zones are. Inform your partner how you want to be fondled in certain areas and the intensity of the pressure. If you want him to give you more licking at the back tell him so.

Besides both of you are after pleasure, right? So don’t be embarrassed. Giving suggestions and propositions can be quite exciting, too. The excitement of experimenting in love- making can heighten the female’s orgasm. Experimenting, like role playing or using props- like hand cuffs, blind-folds, vibrators whip creams, ice creams, and those modern topical cream products which enhances female’s libido and orgasm can make your sex life more enjoyable and fun.

Of course, making- love is not complete without giving each other oral sex, it has to be given in both persons concerned- it is fact that every body loves it and anyone who says otherwise is a supreme hypocrite. A balance of taking and giving pleasure is critical. For men, remember that ramming your penis inside your partner’s vagina like a rabbit will never give her the orgasm she needs.

It is a must for men to know where the clitoris is and to stimulate it appropriately. Vaginal stimulation alone seldom gives the woman orgasm. It is the heat of the foreplay and the stimulation of the clitoris that makes the woman reach the ever longed for orgasm. Learn to listen not just with your ears but also with your eyes.

Body language can send a lot of messages in love-making. This only shows that communication is not only important outside the bedroom but it is just as important inside the four-walls of the bedroom. Having healthy communication inside the bedroom is a form of intimacy that can build a deeper bond between the both of you.

Making- love is a gift, take pleasure in it, indulge in it..Enjoy!

SUCCSES BEGINS WITH YOU

In today’s economic climate talented people are being forced to look for their next job or opportunity. Many of them have valuable skills and experience to offer an employer; and some are being given opportunities that take them out of their comfort zone. Some will get stuck in self-doubt, fear or limited thinking. Others will take the risk to play a bigger game because they are filled with confidence, have a compelling vision and focus on the positive.
If you are reaching for a level of success that takes you into unknown territory, these three strategies enable you to “show up” as “your best”:

Present yourself with unwavering confidence
You are connected to your worth and filled with confidence when:
1) you claim your strengths (qualities, talents, skills, purpose, values)
2) rely on the past experiences that make you an expert.
3) acknowledge and break through personal challenges (self-limiting beliefs, emotions and behaviors).

When you think, feel, speak and live with authenticity, you are congruent. This alignment empowers you. You will have a sense of security that enables you to see clearly and take risks. When you speak from this truth, others will pay attention. And, as you overcome personal challenges, you are on your way to self-mastery.

Feel inspired and empowered by your vision

Your vision reflects a specific picture of having what you want. When the vision shows up in your life, it fills you with a personal purpose, like financial freedom and serves a universal purpose, like bringing hope to others. The vision reflects an expansive level of accomplishment and the two purposes give it deep personal meaning. When you imagine having it right now, you are filled with positive feelings that add passion to the picture and purpose.

A vision energizes you, keeps you focused and serves as a barometer upon which to evaluate your choices. If a specific job or business venture is not aligned with your vision, proceed with caution. You may be compromising your success, health and well-being.

Attract successful outcomes through the power of Positive Thinking
When you trust that who you are is enough and expect your vision to become a reality, you are able to remain positive in the unknown and allow what you want to find you. You attract positive outcomes when you;
1) have gratitude for what you have and where you have been
2) approach the unknown with a sense of fullness, not lack; possibilities, not obstacles
3) do your best in the present moment while letting go of attachment to the outcome.

The success you want to accomplish begins with you. Whether facing a setback, a change or new beginning, you are challenged to lead with “your best.” Your skills, talents and wisdom make you an authentic expert. Your vision gives you a picture of success and sense of purpose. And, as you focus on the positive, you attract it. When you reach for what you want with confidence, vision and positive thinking, you are filled with inspiration and possibility. You will move through the unknown with ease. Your plan and actions will take you the rest of the way and reinforce the success that you are.

HOW TO STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND MAKE LOVE LAST

A strong, healthy relationship can be one of the best supports in your life. Good relationships improve your life in all aspects, strengthening your health, your mind and your connections with others as well. However, it can also be one of the greatest drains if the relationship is not working. Relationships are an investment. The more you put in, the more you get back.

Love and relationships take work, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and change through life as a team.

Learn about ways to keep a healthy relationship strong, or work on repairing trust and love for a relationship on the rocks.

Everyone’s relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons. But there are some things that good relationships have in common. Knowing the basic principles of healthy relationships helps keep them meaningful, fulfilling and exciting in both happy times and sad:

What makes a healthy love relationship?

1. Staying involved with each other. Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without truly relating to each other and working together. While it may seem stable on the surface, lack of involvement and communication increases distance. When you need to talk about something important, the connection and understanding may no longer be there.
2. Getting through conflict. Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree. The key in a strong relationship, through, is not to be fearful of conflict. You need to be safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation or insisting on being right.
3. Keeping outside relationships and interests alive. No one person can meet all of our needs, and expecting too much from someone can put a lot of unhealthy pressure on a relationship. Having friends and outside interests not only strengthens your social network, but brings new insights and stimulation to the relationship, too.
4. Communicating. Honest, direct communication is a key part of any relationship. When both people feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears and desires, trust and bonds are strengthened. Critical to communication are nonverbal cues—body language like eye contact, leaning forward or away, or touching someone’s arm.

Keep physical intimacy alive

Touch is a fundamental part of human existence. Studies on infants have shown the importance of regular, loving touch and holding on brain development. These benefits do not end in childhood. Life without physical contact with others is a lonely life indeed.

Keep physical intimacy alive Studies have shown that affectionate touch actually boosts the body’s levels of oxytocin, a hormone that influences bonding and attachment. In a committed relationship between two adult partners, physical intercourse is often a cornerstone of the relationship. However, intercourse should not be the only method of physical intimacy in a relationship. Regular, affectionate touch­—holding hands, hugging, or kissing—is equally important.

Be sensitive to what your partner likes. While touch is a key part of a healthy relationship, it’s important to take some time to find out what your partner really likes. Unwanted touching or inappropriate overtures can make the other person tense up and retreat—exactly what you don’t want.

Spend quality time together

You probably have fond memories of when you were first dating your loved one. Everything may have seemed new and exciting, and you may have spent hours just chatting together or coming up with a new, exciting thing to try. However, as time goes by, children, demanding jobs, long commutes, different hobbies and other obligations can make it hard to find time together. It’s critical for your relationship, though, to make time for yourselves. If you don’t have quality time, communication and understanding start to erode.
Simple ways to connect as a couple and rekindle love

* Commit to spending quality time together on a regular basis. Even during very busy and stressful times, a few minutes of really sharing and connecting can help keep bonds strong.
* Find something that you enjoy doing together, whether it is a shared hobby, dance class, daily walk, or sitting over a cup of coffee in the morning.
* Try something new together. Doing new things together can be a fun way to connect and keep things interesting. It can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or going on a day trip to a place you’ve never been before.

Healthy relationships are built on give and take

If you expect to get what you want 100% of a time in a relationship, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Healthy relationships are built on compromise. However, it takes work on each person’s part to make sure that there is a reasonable exchange.
Recognize what’s important to your partner

Knowing what is truly important to your partner can go a long way towards building goodwill and an atmosphere of compromise. On the flip side, it’s also important for your partner to recognize your wants and for you to state them clearly. Constantly giving to others at the expense of your own needs builds resentment and anger.
Don’t make “winning” your goal

If you approach your partner with the attitude that things have to be your way or else, it will be difficult to reach a compromise. Sometimes this attitude comes from not having your needs met while younger, or it could be years of accumulated resentment in the relationship reaching a boiling point. It’s alright to have strong convictions about something, but your partner deserves to be heard as well. You are more likely to get your needs met if you respect what your partner needs, and compromise when you can.
Learn how to respectfully resolve conflict

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but to keep a relationship strong, both people need to feel they’ve been heard. The goal is not to win but to resolve the conflict with respect and love.

* Make sure you are fighting fair.
* Don’t attack someone directly but use “I” statements to communicate how you feel.
* Don’t drag old arguments into the mix.
* Keep the focus on the issue at hand, and respect the other person.

WHAT KILLS RELATIONSHIPS AND HOW TO SAVE YOURS

In a moment I'm going to tell you the root cause that kills all relationship and strangled yours. Right now you're suffering because of your relationship. The emotional turmoil and pain you're in because of your breakup or relationship problem is costing you your quality of life.

You may have searched for the answer to the question, "how do I get my ex back" and I'm going to help you by showing you why your relationship broke up.

It is not about loss of interest, loss of attraction or incompatibility. It is much deeper so read on.

Breakups and relationships problems takes place because of one reason: hidden beliefs.

Here is how to know if you have beliefs that is hurting your relationship:

1. You often find yourself thinking negatively about love/romantic relationships. It is difficult for you to consistently assume you are creating success or you can create the success you want in relationships.

2. No matter how hard you try, you can't seem to attract, meet and keep a potential partner. You feel resentful/stuck and self-pity.

3. You often get into a dating situation where the person you're really attracted to doesn't want what you want. In other words, you are always left with a low-level convenient type of arrangement while dating, ie. Serial daters/Friends with benefits types/ etc.

4. You find yourself with partners who are evasive/controlling. You're often in push/pull situations. You often feel let down and faced with many empty promises.

5. You face breakups often. You're always the person who gets dumped.

6. You have a general belief that men are jerks, lie, cheat, want to be friends with benefits, are losers, and just don't want to commit these days.

7. You are always worried while you're in relationships. You tend to give of yourself completely and not get your feelings reciprocated.

8. You find yourself stuck in unsatisfying relationships where your partner(s) doesn't commit to you the way you know you deserve.

9. You're find yourself getting pulled in when you feel attraction for someone you think could make a great partner. It's difficult or impossible for you to control your emotions and you often see yourself creating a make belief relationship even if it's only been a few dates.

10. You make bad decisions often. When relationships are new, you agree to things like sex because you believe it will bring your partner closer. You believe it will make your partner want you more.

11. Sometimes you find yourself keep moving towards someone even if they keep rejecting you and it's difficult to have self-control. You find yourself craving for attention and will end up contacting your partner excessively. For example, too many phone calls, text messages, emails.

12. You talk about your relationship pain often or you get together with individuals who encourage your feelings of anger, hurt, pain and frustration by making partners you're with to blame for not responding to you the way you'd like.

Hidden false beliefs is the one and only reason why you are having relationship problems. If you want to save your relationship or get your ex back, you must know the role of beliefs in destroying your relationship.

People act the way they believe. They also do what they believe. It is impossible to believe something and not do it. When people say they believe something and don't do it, they actually don't believe it.

You were taught certain things about love. When you're functioning in a relationship, you are actually acting out your unconscious programs. If you have false beliefs about what relationships should look like, you are going to act out those false beliefs in ways that causes your partner to lose attraction for you. These are unattractive habits that you may be so unaware of but it triggers a reaction in your partner and cause emotional withdrawal.

When you have the right beliefs, you can save your relationship because you will act in a way that is amazingly appealing to your ex or partner. When your ex sees this kind of emotional intelligence, you will fix the root cause of why your breakup took place.

If you want to get a second chance to save your relationship, you must stop acting in the ways that are rooted in your beliefs and start to get the results you've been searching for.

It is critical to know how to get your ex to feel good about talking to you again. If you're not able to do this, you wont get your relationship back.

STEPS TO HAVING A POSITIVE MIND SET

You've heard the saying "your mind is a terrible thing to waste". Who ever came up that is on the money, and once you decide what/how you want your life to be, you must take a look at how you think. Changing your mindset is most effective way to ensure that you will be successful in all your endeavors. Changing how your mind thinks sounds pretty easy but it takes work.　　　It is easy to let the mind wander and worry, but the individual who can control their own mind has the world on his plate.
　
What is a Negative Consciousness?　
A　Negative Consciousness is a mindset where an individual continually feels negative emotions like fear, hatred, anger, greed, revenge, and superstition. When the mind is constantly feeling these negative emotions nothing good comes into creation. This negative energy brings you more of what you don’t want into your life. A negative mindset makes you feel like you will never accomplish anything and you doubt that you will be successful. The negative mind has no room for any positive emotions. This mindset causes you to give up on your dreams before you really get started on achieving them or even procrastinate to the point that you never act on your goals.　 Often times you may not even know you are being negative when you are in fact negative.　 The negative consciousness is easy to create since no “work is required to achieve this mindset is almost human nature. Here is one sign that a negative mindset could be holding you back.
Do you ever decide to take action on a goal then immediately begin to think about all the ways you couldn't possibly succeed? That is the easiest way to know you have a negative mindset.

What is a Positive Consciousness?
A Positive Consciousness is a mindset where an individual continually feels positive emotions like desire, love, faith, sex, romance, enthusiasm, and hope. The positive mindset is grateful for all they have and will have, and they are faithful to the actions that will bring about change and prosperity. The individual who has a positive mindset does not have room in their thought for negative emotions. Someone with a positive mindset always finds the good in every situation and knows that goals aren't met overnight and are willing to take a step in faith and stay committed　to achieving their goals, positively. If you are actively controlling your thoughts in order to have your mind filled with positive emotions then you have a positive consciousness.

So how do you change your mind?
First you must agree that negative and positive emotions can not co-exist. You must have fear or faith; there is no room for both. Most people have to do a little work to build a Positive Mindset and that is easy to do once you have the "tools" you need. You may be thinking to yourself "how can I focus on the positive when negativity is all around me?" This is where affirmation, imagination, meditation, and vision boards come into play. You can learn how to change your mindset and begin living the life you want just by using:
1. Affirmations 2. Imagination 3. Meditation 4. Vision boards

Here is each tool laid out for you in detail.
1. Affirmation- Positive self talk is a way to embed positive thoughts on your mind and subconscious
2. Meditation - Take a few moments throughout the day to sit and relax your mind in a quiet space
3. Imagination- Imagine you are living a life exactly as you want
4. Vision Board - A poster board with pictures of what your life looks like when your goals are met

Last Thoughts.
There are many ways to change your mindset you just have to decide that you want to live better.　 You have to desire to have more, be more and do more. The tools outline above can be brought together in a way to meet your personal needs so that you can have that positive mindset that you need to have the success you desire.

WHY DO MEN DUMP WOMEN?

For a woman being dump by a man can be a total bummer not to mention embarrassing. We can’t exactly pinpoint why men dump women because there can be several factors involved like incompatibility, beliefs, culture and many others. And these factors are given; you cannot force yourself into someone you are not compatible with, right? However, if you believe that you have done everything you could and yet still unable to let your man stay in the relationship then ask yourself if you are guilty of the common reasons why men dump women.

The“Me, myself and I” syndrome. It’s all about you, you, you and you. You don’t consider his feelings; you don’t take care of him when he is sick. You don’t help him carry the grocery bag, you don’t listen to him and worst you don’t wait for him to climax after you had yours.

Men cannot stand selfishness, so if you think your man is keeping his distance, ask yourself when was the last time you prioritized him. Another reason that you will definitely get dumped by your man is if you cannot keep your word. You tell him this and yet do another.

You are constantly tardy and you always keep him hanging. Worst, you give fallacious excuses. In other words, you cannot tell a simple truth. It doesn’t matter if you look like Angelina Jolie; you will get dumped if you cannot get your story straight. Chronic or pathological liars drive men away like crazy.

Another sure fire reason why men dump women is by being a control freak. Was there a time that he invited you to dinner and it took you the whole fifteen minutes reiterating to the waiter how you want your salad done? Or he invited you to a day at the beach but you refused because you don’t want the wind messing up your hair? You will never change your schedule for anything, unplanned trips is never an option.

Spontaneity scares you. Men dump women if they are a complete nag and a complainer. I know that you want the best for your lover that is why you constantly correct him. Do you find yourself telling him this regularly? “Why can’t you….?” or “Do you ever do this or that…?” If you do, then don’t be surprise if your guy is becoming elusive by the minute.

This is because you make him feel that he cannot do anything right. A word of advice, woman, you cannot get your message across if you nag him, learn to boost his ego and he is all ears. The secret here is to try to be a little more comfortable with yourself, be a little happier and livelier.

Do this and you will become an instant man magnet.

HANDLING A BREAK UP ---- 3 ESSENTIAL TIPS

Men and women are forever hooking up, getting together and forming relationships. Just as frequently, those relationships break up. Most breakups, no matter how friendly, involve significant pain. Men in particular have a harder time dealing with breakups. Perhaps because they've been taught from birth how to handle their emotions, women actually deal with the pain of a breakup better than men. If you are suffering from a breakup right now, then simply learn a few tips which can help you in dealing with your break up in a much better way.

Tip One: Cry if you want to

Don't imagine that crying makes you less of a man - all it does is prove you're human. Assuming you really cared for this girl, and were committed to the relationship you shared with her, it's only natural that the pain will take some time to heal. Crying in public places is unfitting, but it's absolutely fine to cry in private, at home. The fact is that the relationship's really over - grieving will help you accept that fact and move on with your life.

Tip Two: It's over - why worry about whose fault it is?

At this point, what does it matter whose fault it is? The relationship's finished and nothing you can do is going to resurrect it - so don't burden yourself with anything that's going to slow down your getting on with your life. This is the time when you need to lover your being more so that you don’t shatter more. You need not to blame neither punish yourself because of someone who doesn't even care about you. The pain you're going through now is much like an illness - and when you're fighting it off, you don't go out of your way to acquire another. It is alright to feel low and depressed but try to think positive rather than negative in such situations. You know that if you smile at people, even strangers, invariably they'll smile back. Give it a shot - it'll help boost your own emotional health.

Tip Three: There's nothing wrong with accepting help

We all have support groups. They're usually not formal, with set meeting times. They're our family and friends, and they're there to give all the support and help you need. Even if you don’t want to share with them its good to just stay in their company and feel loved. This would make you feel that you have others and you would not feel lonely. Get involved with your friends and do things which you enjoy the most. You can even ask your friends to clear out the room if it has got gifts from her hanging on the wall or in the drawer.

Break ups can be a little complicated to handle but in order to find the true companion you would have to pass through these paths. You can always make a difference as long as you remember to think and act positively. As soon as you get over the split, you can get on with your life. There's someone waiting for you out there, but you won't be ready to meet her until you've dealt with the breakup.

HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY BUILD CUSTOMER LOYALTY

The secret to the success of a business primarily lies in its ability to attract and retain its customers. Any good trader understands that 80% of the business originates from 20% of his/her customers. It is therefore essential for any business to develop an effective customer loyalty strategy that will not only attract new customers and retain them, but also ensure the continued survival of the business. Often, it is more costly to attract new customers than it is to retain old ones. Thus, the correct strategy will definitely payoff if applied right.

An effective customer loyalty strategy should aim at leaving a lasting impression in the mind of any customer: to the new one-a reason to come back again; to the returning one- a reason not to leave again; and to the regular one- a reason why that business is their choice for all time.
One recommended strategy is adopting good customer loyalty programs ranging from coupons to promotions. You can even go further and provide additional credits for only members of a program. You can also keep a historical records of various products in your business. This ensures that product or service is always available for those repeat customers. Keep your customers posted on upcoming opportunities, especially on new products or services.

In a world filled with electronic and technological opportunities, ranging from telephones wide screen televisions, to internet facilities, the customer has a variety of sources from which to obtain information about a service or product. Yet, in spite of all these advancements, a business does well to retain the good old-fashioned people communication skills. A customer feels more appreciated through direct interaction with someone else over a product, service, or even just to discuss a problem. Thus, personal interaction with your customers is an essential customer loyalty strategy to take up. You can do this by taking time to learn their names, faces and contacts, their history with the business (especially for repeat customers), and appraising them constantly. This leaves a greater impression than a billboard or coupon ever will.

For effective people communication, another effective customer loyalty strategy is the organizing of sales training seminars from time to time for your employees. Such seminars for employees are, not only geared at equipping them with the essential people skills, but also empower them to handle any situations that may arise with the customer and make the right decisions. Alongside customer loyalty, is the issue of employee loyalty. A businessperson that is loyal to his employees is in turn rewarded by employees that are positive and secure about their jobs, who in turn pass on the same loyalty to the customers.

Keeping the business growing and improving is also an important customer loyalty strategy. You can achieve this by establishing feedback with your regular customers on ways of improving product and service delivery to them. In this way, the customer feels part and parcel of the business. Ultimately, more than new or returning customers, loyal customers are a worthwhile asset; they are a walking, talking, and interactive ad for your business.

TIPS FOR EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

Many social scientists believe that humans are different from animals because we developed language and communication, and that these are the hallmark of Human development. As language and communication advanced our ancestors were able to combine their ideas and experiences with one another and this nurtured the evolution of culture, religion, and science.

Although speaking and communicating is innately human it is often mysterious. In fact, our historic predecessors believed that language and communication were awesome gifts from the gods; the Greek god Hermes, the Egyptian Thoth, and the Roman god Mercury were considered to be the givers of speech, language, and communications.

Communication deserves to be understood as more than a mysterious gift from the gods. We need to answer the question 'what is communication?' Communication stems from a Latin root communicare ‘to make common’. Essentially, communication means transferring ideas, thoughts, desires, etc. from the privacy of ones mind to a common place where other people can share them. But communication is more than speaking. Linguists claim that spoken words are only 7% of communication and that body language, facial expressions, tonality, and style constitute the rest of the 93%.

To account for the 93% of nonverbal communication and to successfully communicate, motivate, and educate we will be greatly helped by focusing on these three points:
· Be clear about the purpose of the communication. By knowing your goal you will organize your thoughts and align your body language and tonality to support your words.
· Be aware of your audience. Keep your attention on the audience and on what you hear, see, and feel from them. Effective communication is a sharing, an exchange that flows back and forth. If you are too internally involved you are perhaps speaking, but not communicating.
· Be flexible. By attending to your audience you may discover that they are misinterpreting or misunderstanding your words and ideas. Keep adjusting your communication until you are convinced that they are hearing what you are intending.

Additionally, effective communicators use the following guidelines:

· Communicate to your listening audience. Understand your listener, get inside their head. To ensure that your message is heard, communicate by expressing your message from the point of view of the other party.
· Communication is most successful when you can abandon your ideas of ‘the proper way’ and look at the world from the eyes of the person with whom you are communicating. Your audience will listen and absorb your information when you present it in their terms.
· Communicate to your audience using their goals, interests, experiences and background as your references.

Finally, powerful communicators consistently implement skills that build rapport and respect, and ensure clarity. They develop and practice:
· Listening skills. Many people in a conversation aren’t really listening. Person B is already preparing responses to person A while person A is still talking. Listening is requisite for an exchange of ideas.
· Paying attention. They know how to focus on the other person, notice their speech, their body movement, their inflection and volume.
· Eye contact. Keeping eye contact with the other person will help keep your attention on them. It also stops your mind from wandering.
· Mirroring. Mirroring is a method of creating similarity, building rapport; a sense of liking. You become a mirror reflecting the body language, speech style and vocabulary of the other person. DON’T BE OBVIOUS. This is a subtle reflection.

Remember, when you communicate your whole body and minds are delivering a message, not just your words. Communicate to your listener. Develop listening and rapport building skills, and be alert, aware, and improving yourself through practice and study.